Test Result
Agape (The Altruistic Lover)
“You view love as an act of selfless giving—prioritizing your partner’s happiness above your own needs.”
Your overall pattern: The Altruistic Lover (Agape)
You possess the rarest of the love styles. For you, love is a verb—it is something you do for others. You derive genuine joy from giving, supporting, and sacrificing for your partner. Your love is unconditional; you don't love someone because of what they give you, but because you have decided to love them.
You are patient, forgiving, and incredibly supportive. You are the partner who brings soup when they are sick, listens when they are tired, and forgives when they mess up. You view a relationship as a spiritual commitment to another person's well-being.
"Love seeks not itself to please, nor for itself hath any care, but for another gives its ease." — William Blake
Typical behaviors
- Sacrifice: You frequently give up your own preferences (e.g., what movie to watch, where to live) to make your partner happy.
- Patience: You tolerate flaws and bad behavior longer than most other styles would.
- Satisfaction in Giving: You genuinely feel happy when you see your partner smile, even if it cost you something.
Strengths in this pattern
- Unconditionality: You offer a level of acceptance that is healing and rare.
- Commitment: You are unlikely to leave when things get tough; you are "all in."
Common pitfalls
You cannot pour from an empty cup.
- Martyrdom: You may neglect your own needs to the point of burnout or resentment.
- Imbalance: You risk attracting narcissistic or selfish partners (often Ludus types) who will take everything you give without returning it.
"Reflection point: Am I loving them, or am I enabling them?"
What you can do next
Small actions you can start today
- Identify one thing you want to do this week, and ask your partner to support you in doing it.
- Practice saying "No" to a small request just to remind yourself that you have boundaries.
Longer-term directions
- ensure you are in a relationship with a "Giver," not a "Taker." Agape works beautifully with Storge or another Agape, but is dangerous with Ludus.
- Remember that healthy love is reciprocal. It is not selfish to have needs; it is human.
Disclaimer and when to seek help
This test describes behavioral patterns for educational purposes only. If you find yourself consistently in abusive or one-sided relationships where your needs are ignored, please seek support from a mental health professional.