Attachment Style Test: Why Do You Love the Way You Do?

Have you ever wondered why you consistently react the same way in relationships, even with different partners? Maybe you find yourself constantly checking your phone, panicked that a delayed text means the end of the relationship. Or perhaps you feel an overpowering urge to run away and shut down the moment someone tries to get close to you. These reactions aren't random, and they aren't "failures" of character. They are echoes of your emotional history.

This Attachment Style Test is designed to help you decode that history. By mapping your subconscious reactions to intimacy and independence, this assessment provides a mirror to your inner world. It moves you from asking "What is wrong with me?" to understanding "How does my system work?"—giving you the clarity needed to build healthier, more secure connections.

How can this Attachment Style Test help you?

Understanding your attachment style is often the "missing piece" for people struggling to find peace in their relationships. By taking this test, you can expect to gain:

• Validation of your feelings: Realize that your anxiety or need for space is a recognized biological pattern, not a flaw.
• Reduced relationship friction: Learn why you and your partner might trigger each other (e.g., the "Anxious-Avoidant trap") and how to de-escalate.
• A roadmap to "Secure": Identify specific behaviors you can practice to move toward a more secure, resilient way of relating.
• Better partner selection: Recognize red flags and compatibility factors earlier in the dating process.

What is the Attachment Style Test about?

This assessment is rooted in Attachment Theory, one of the most extensively researched frameworks in psychology. Originally developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, and later expanded for adults by researchers like Hazan, Shaver, and Fraley, the theory posits that the bonds we formed with our earliest caregivers create a "blueprint" for how we perceive safety and love in adulthood.

This test helps you answer questions like:

• Why do I feel "suffocated" when a partner gets too close?
• Why am I terrified of being abandoned, even when things are going well?
• Is it possible for me to change my patterns and feel more secure?

How is this test designed?

Theory and measurement foundations

Our test is built upon the principles of the Experiences in Close Relationships-Revised (ECR-R) inventory, which is widely considered the gold standard in social psychology for measuring adult attachment. Unlike simple quizzes that put you in a box, this model measures your position on two continuums.

Which dimensions does this test look at?

Instead of a single label, we measure two core underlying dimensions:

1. Attachment Anxiety: The degree to which you worry about being rejected, unloved, or abandoned. High scorers often crave reassurance.
2. Attachment Avoidance: The degree to which you limit intimacy and emphasize self-reliance. High scorers often equate closeness with a loss of independence.

Your unique combination of these two scores places you into one of the four attachment profiles.

How does this test work in practice?

Number of items and approximate time

The test consists of 24 items and typically takes about 5–8 minutes to complete.

How to answer

You will see a series of statements about how you generally feel in romantic relationships.

Tip: Try not to overthink. Your immediate, gut-level reaction is usually the most accurate reflection of your subconscious style.

How do we calculate your results?

We use a 7-point scale to capture the nuance of your feelings. Your answers are scored against the Anxiety and Avoidance dimensions. The intersection of these scores determines your dominant style (e.g., High Anxiety + Low Avoidance = Anxious-Preoccupied).

Who is this test for?

This test is especially helpful if you:

• Are currently in a relationship and want to understand your dynamic better.
• Are single and want to understand why past relationships haven't worked out.
• Feel stuck in repetitive cycles of breaking up and getting back together.
• Want to grow your emotional intelligence and self-awareness.

Please consider seeking professional help instead if:

• You are currently in an abusive or violent relationship.
• You are experiencing a mental health crisis or severe distress.
• You need a clinical diagnosis for a personality disorder or other medical condition.

What will you see in your results? (Preview)

We don't just give you a static label; we provide a narrative explanation of how you relate to others. Your result will classify you into one of the four standard attachment styles:

1. Secure Attachment: Comfortable with intimacy and independence; you view relationships as a safe harbor.
2. Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment: You crave deep intimacy but often fear that your partner doesn't love you as much as you love them.
3. Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment: You prize autonomy above all else and may pull away when relationships get "too heavy" or emotional.
4. Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized) Attachment: A complex mix of desiring closeness but fearing it; you may feel "trapped" when close but "abandoned" when distant.

Your result page will also include:

• Strengths: The unique superpowers your style brings to a relationship (e.g., empathy, resilience, stability).
• Pitfalls: Common triggers and behaviors to watch out for.
• Action Plans: Concrete steps you can take to move toward "Earned Security."

What can you do with your results?

Treat the result as a mirror, not a verdict

Your attachment style is a pattern, not a permanent personality sentence. Psychology calls this "plasticity"—meaning your style can change. Identifying that you lean "Anxious" or "Avoidant" is the first step in rewiring your brain for security.

Small actions and longer-term directions

We provide actionable advice. For example, if you are Anxious, we might suggest "pausing for 10 minutes" before sending a double-text. If you are Avoidant, we might suggest sharing one small feeling a day. These small "micro-steps" slowly retrain your nervous system to tolerate intimacy and separation better.

References & further reading

To ensure the accuracy of our concepts, we rely on established psychological literature:

1. Psychology Today - Attachment Theory Basics
   https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/attachment
2. R. Chris Fraley’s Adult Attachment Lab (UIUC) - Information on the ECR-R
   http://labs.psychology.illinois.edu/~rcfraley/measures/ecrr.htm
3. The Attachment Project - Education on Attachment Styles
   https://www.attachmentproject.com/
4. Verywell Mind - The 4 Attachment Styles
   https://www.verywellmind.com/attachment-styles-2795344

Disclaimer

This online test is designed for educational and self-discovery purposes only. It is based on psychological theory but is not a clinical diagnostic tool. The results should not be interpreted as a medical or psychological diagnosis. If you are experiencing significant emotional distress, relationship trauma, or mental health concerns, please consult a licensed therapist or mental health professional.